As many of you have already heard, we are very close (or "closer than ever," ha) to becoming certified foster parents. Our general hope is adoption, but whatever happens, our desire is to serve the Lord through obedience to his command to care for others practically. This may mean adoption. It may mean becoming a temporary caretakers for a child as they wait to reunite with their parents who love them. It may even likely mean showing Christlike selfless love and understanding to the biological parents of a child that we yearn jealously over. And if indeed our hopes of adoption are realized, "happily ever after" will still have its challenges and imperfections.
It's daunting, I must admit. Although I confess that one of my hopes in blogging about our journey is to convince even one reader to consider taking the leap, for now the more tangible (and slightly contradictory) reason is to reach out for encouragement, support, and understanding.
One of the things I have learned so far about foster care is that it is pretty much guaranteed to be frustrating or discouraging at times. Unfortunately, the negatives seem likely to be the first things you'll hear about it.
For us, when people find out we're getting certified, we get one of two or three general responses:
There is the encouraging: "Wow, that is amazing/exciting/beautiful!"
The slightly more apprehensive: "wow, you're brave/how nice of you/you must be crazy in a good way I guess/but why?"
Or, sadly, from nearly anyone who has been more closely acquainted with "the system" or someone who has gone through it, the more discouraged, cynical, or bittersweet responses, "Oh boy, let me warn you what you're in for..." "I knew somebody who (horror story)..." Or simply, "aha, a sympathetic ear to all the greviences I have towards the foster system and everything surrounding it." (The best of which all add, "but it is worth all the frustration in the end!")
Don't get me wrong, I totally get each of those responses. I appreciate each angle, as they each have their genuine care behind them. And even the little bits of "the system" I know and stories I hear, the more of it I experience, the more I find myself tempted to be that person just waiting for a sympathetic ear to complain to! (Have I told you my rubbing alcohol is under lock and key and our home study was supposed to be finished two months ago? ;) ) ...Hopefully this blog won't be too much of that. I think honesty is good, and preparedness and realistic expectations are good, but most of all I am realizing that encouragement and support is essential.
Already, "thanks a million" to those of you who have offered even the smallest gestures or statements of support and encouragement, it means so so much to me and my sometimes easily-discouraged heart. And thanks also to those whose support has come more in the form of the latter two types of statements... I get that it is another form of caring for us, even if it is less easy to give and receive. I already know that this process will be emotionally draining at times, even if it takes the best possible route.
So this is me, beginning to share with you so you can encourage and pray for me. I am not always as good at sharing my thoughts in person, at least not without direct invitation. But writing works for me. So here is your invitation to know what Is on my mind, if you wish to accept. Thanks for taking the time to read and find out... Even that is encouraging to me.
More to come! I think "FAQ's" is next on my mental agenda... If there are any you think I should include, feel free to comment or let me know. :)
