Short roots: First impressions on the strangeness of short term

On a Monday or Tuesday, I let our social worker know that we would be willing to do short term "respite" or "emergency" care--basically overnight babysitting for if a foster family needs a break, or sometimes if the county/agency receives a child on short notice and needs a place for them to stay that night while a more permanent place is found. Only certified families can provide this service.

On Wednesday afternoon around 2:30, I got a call that there was an opportunity available for us to help out. A sibling set was homeless for the evening after their previous home, apparently on short notice, was unable to keep them anymore. Abrupt, perhaps, but I can't judge without knowing. We only needed to take one kid for the night while a new home was found for them, hopefully together. 

By 5:00 the children were waiting at the local office to be picked up. I told Nate we were having a new friend over for the evening, and anxiously drove over. Walking in to where the kids were playing with the other respite foster mom, I was suddenly paralyzed. One child was crying.  Did they know what was going on? What had they been told? What kind of explanation could I, a stranger, give them before walking out the door with one of them? Should I first reassure them that they would see each other tomorrow, or not since no one really knew that for sure?   

But, with the social worker's prodding to go ahead and "rip off the band-aid" I offered my arms to the small, speechless toddler I was taking. Without a complaint or even much hesitation the child agreed to be held, carried outside, and strapped into my car next to my son (who was excited about his new friend). Just like that, we drove off. Call me a softy, but my mind and heart didn't know what to make of it. This kid was obviously more used to this unnatural scenario than I was. 

Although at first I had no idea what feeding level to expect, our dinner guest turned out to be a willing eater, and pretty quickly got comfortable playing with Nathan, although often seeming to look to me as a point of contact, if you will. Since I was the pickup person, was I the one link there was to stability or certainty of previous life? Perhaps. 

At bedtime, although sleepy, the child was reluctant to be left alone in the crib (for any number of understandable reasons)... Does one ever sleep-train a foster child, or is there too much inconsistency? I decided not to fight it for just one night and moved a toddler bed to the side of my own and laid down. Satisfied that I was not leaving, my little friend gladly laid down to sleep as well. 

The night passed with just a few restless wakings that were quickly quieted by a bottle of milk (or water). Not bad, all things considered. 

In the morning, just as we were told (even if for a moment there was talk that we might be needed for a few more days) a kind DCFS worker came, knowing little but the child's name (at first didn't even realize I was just a respite caregiver), and took Nate's new friend away to a "more permanent placement" while he looked on and wimpered. 

Then we went back inside and tried to act like nothing was different. 

NOTE: yes, you too can help a foster child like this, even if just for a night or two. ;)